i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
