woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you didnt know i had herpes?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
