Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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