you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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