trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
