We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
don't judge my taste in strippers
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
