Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
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