Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
