I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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