so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Randomize
