So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
