watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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