In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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