I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
