I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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