that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
