THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Two words: blizzard sex
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
