her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
