thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
