Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Dignity is for republicans.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
