I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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