It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
