I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
