Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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