non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
