It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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