it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
