i would punch a child for taco bell
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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