Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
