I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
