Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
