the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Are we still banned from the library?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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