Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
