Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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