I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
