who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
