you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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