If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
