It's Friday. Sex?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
