I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
