Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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