you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
