Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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