Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
