i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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