First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize