me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
