What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
soo... how was my night?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
