That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
