Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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