they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
