Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So much rum. So many feels.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
