It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
