i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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