I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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