Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
