bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I am mentally ready for anal.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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