Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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