Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
