those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
