This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
