You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
