Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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