I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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