He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
