I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
