Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
