i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
