help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
