love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
