I just threw up on my dentist
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
