You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
