he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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